It feels like the battle is over – Phillip
When
you nestle into your mother’s arms, there is never a thought of
tomorrow. Matter of fact, the journey has not even begun. You look up
to your older brothers and sister who are well balanced and are either
tending the house or doing chores that a farm brings. I am the fourth
child of eight.
For the journey I will
have many mountains to climb and torrents of rivers to cross that will
almost sweep me off my feet. I suppose one advantage I have over many
is that I have never given up. At times I have been exhausted and
precariously hanging on for grim death on sheer rock faces, miles in
the air with little help. Who needs help? There is nothing wrong with
me. I am a male, six feet tall and full of muscle.
But
now, married and two small children in tow, I sat on a rock near a
stream and said I am tired, my brain is bruised, it feels I cannot go
on anymore. Just leave me by this stream and you go on. My wife refused
and she sat by my side as if we were just married this morning. Come on
Phil, you have got to get up – you need some help. There I sat at the
Doctor’s surgery, now on a long journey of highs and lows.
We
had acquired a small ranch from my work as a lumberjack in the
mountains, felling pines that shone so bright when the sun appeared.
But I cannot wave that chainsaw anymore. It sits in the shed collecting
dust. I am not sure it even starts. As the doctor asked so many
questions, he looked me up and down, then in a seemingly grumpy voice
said “You have a mental condition”. No one ever told me I was depressed
as well. I always asked questions, always got answers and felt I shaped
myself. I have had to opt out of society a little.
Today
I am as good as you. You are now opting back into society with ease and
being accepted with welcoming arms. But you cannot journey alone. You
need a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear to talk to, good food and a
nice warm bed on those freezing cold nights. Of course I take
medication. So what. But are you like me and are you content on the
journey that will bring us to meet.
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